As I sat listening to the world wake up this morning, I found myself once again taking inventory of my life. So many changes lately. So much chaos and loss. I ended one chapter of my life to begin another. The change has been good in many ways however, I am so frustrated, angry, sad and alone. My life is totally out of control. I am suffocating and drowning in self doubt.
My entire life I have taken care of myself. Suddenly I am realizing that I can’t do everything I used to do. I NEED help from others. What a fucking pill to swallow. Obviously I am more prideful than I thought. Guess it’s time for this girl to accept some things.
I often think to myself have I done enough for the world around me? The answer is always no. I feel I could do so much more. Do so much better. The truth however, is yes. I do alot for other people and somewhere along the way, I forgot about myself. I forgot that I need to be taken care of as well as everyone around me. I’m not good at worrying about myself but I need to learn just that very thing because nobody else is going to do it.
I guess needing help isn’t a bad thing it can be a very humbling experience. So many of us wouldn’t struggle as much if we learned to ditch that emotion and allow others to serve for us. We need to serve others as well in order for self growth to happen.
Pride can be a very hard pill to swallow however, Batman didn’t become a superhero ny himself and Rome wasn’t built in a day. We’re all a work in progress and teamwork is the easiest way to get through tough moments. It takes me back my thought of how we are each pieces in a giant puzzle, creating a beautiful work of art. Our masterpiece.
I am a constant work in progress. I’m good with that.
More love. Less hate. H