Every year on Mother’s Day, I write a few words to 3 incredible ladies. I owe them in ways that could never be repaid. At a very young age, was told I could not have children of my own. If you look around the wall of my home, you would see eight beautiful childrens faces. There handprints on the walls, notes on the refrigerator and drawings with backward letters in almost every room of the house these are my most treasured gifts.
I’m so very blessed. Because of adoption, I have a beautiful family that I could never have myself. Each of my children are so amazing! Beautiful gifts that I share with three beautiful, amazing, perfectly imperfect women who entrusted me with their precious little ones.
Because of these women who were so selfless I am mother. They gave me the irreplaceable gifts of hearing the pitter patter of tiny feet running through the house, the love notes written by little hands, the unconditional love and bear hugs, the silly songs, and the sound of laughter ringing in the air. I was never supposed to have these treasured moments that mean more to me than anything else in this world. There is no repayment. However, I love these women beyond words.
When, I met Zerrics mom, I was terrified. I wasn’t sure how I could look someone in the eye and say “Hi, I’m Hailee and I want your kid.” When we met though, there wasn’t a question in my mind. Right before my eyes stood a beautiful woman who had chosen me to be the mother of her child – it was as though time stopped for a minute. As we started talking, everything just clicked. There were things that were a medical concern for her about baby boy but after discussing them, I wasn’t concerned about my son, my heart melted knowing she may never have the chance to meet our son. This beautiful angel standing in front of me had been told she was very sick and she didn’t know if she would be able to care for our son. She also felt he deserved a mom and a dad. It was the most beautiful moment I have ever had I’m my life. Two days later my perfect beautiful baby boy was born shortly after 10 am.
Along came the other five in 2005. Four of my children were in foster care temporarily when another birth mother reached out about placing her son with us. This complicated things a little for a minute, but after discussing things with Ronnie and talking with social services, we decided we didn’t want those 4 babies separated. They were all under the age of four and if they couldn’t be kept together, I wasn’t letting them go. They were placed with us on February 20, 2005. TJ’s fourth birthday. Their mother and I had a rough start, but we became very close friends. She was also beautiful and amazing. She just couldn’t take care of all the kids she couldn’t even care for herself. The day we adopted those four, she made the ultimate sacrifice and gave me one of the most treasured moments and memories in my life. She also showed me an act of love that just can’t be described.
When they called her in to relinquish her rights, she asked I be allowed in the courtroom with her. I was stunned and nervous but I went in with her. It was the most horrible experience I have ever been part of but at the end when the judge asked her if she wanted any words on the record, she said the following:” I know that I have messed up. I love my children more than anything in this life but I cannot care for them. I also know in watching this woman sitting next to me with my kids, that they were meant to be her children not mine. It is an honor for me to give them to her as I, was only the way they had to get here ” I burst into tears. She described how she trusted and loved me and she ended by thanking me for being there and supporting her and loving her….the whole courtroom, including the judge was in tears. Those were some of the most heartfelt, honest words anyone has ever said to me.
In the meantime, Tyson was born. His birth mother had stated she didn’t want to meet me, on Friday the 13th I got the call she was in labor. The original plan was to go to the hospital the day she was going home. She was a beautiful Hispanic woman named Natalie. ( My favorite female name) she had commented her son was half Caucasian half Hispanic and that was important that he be placed in a home with others that were the “same” as him. About 9 am I got the call she would be delivering soon – p.s. she suddenly decided she wanted me to be there when he was born so I needed to hurry and get there. The problem? I lived almost 2 hours away. I grabbed my keys an outfit for baby, put Z in the car and left to the hospital. I started heading into the city. I got about 10 minutes into the drive when I realized that I forgot to pick up Ronnie. I picked him up and started my journey again. About 40 minutes from the hospital, they called and told me it was going to be anytime baby boy was almost here. I figured I would miss his delivery.
I rushed into the hospital like a crazy mad woman trying to find Natalie. When I found her she was still very pregnant. Baby boy at the very last minute decided to go to sleep. Lol At 2:40 in the afternoon Tyson Wade was born. As they placed him in my arms, I realized he looked part African American but was white. I turned to Natalie and asked her if he was. She immediately took offense. She started yelling at me asking me what the problem was with that. Holding my tears back, I explained there was nothing wrong. In fact, as a little girl I always wanted a brown baby but I didn’t know how I was going to get one. Tyson was absolutely beautiful and perfect. Unlike Z’s birthmother, Natalie didn’t want anything to do with him. I was trying to be thoughtful and leave him in the room with her. After all, she only 2 days with him. I would have him for the rest of his life….she thought I was pushing him away. I asked her for a few minutes to talk to her. She finally agreed.
During our conversation, I realized that she was acting this way to cope with what she was doing. She disclosed that his father was a pro basketball player and could not disclose who he was. She insisted that she never wanted to meet him. I was crushed. She was so abrupt and cold and quick to think I was judging her…. I felt so bad. I slept in the waiting room for two days with Tyson. The third morning, Natalie was released. When they brought her out to put her in the car, she asked to speak to me privately. I was very hesitant but agreed.
During our conversation, she apologized for the way she had acted and how she treated me. We only spent 20 minutes together but in that 20 minutes, I saw the real woman she was. She was beautiful and amazing inside and out. As she got on the elevator to leave, she turned around and ran up to me. She gave me the tightest hug I have ever had. She was crying and whispered in my ear ” God told me you were his mother. He told me no matter how hard I tried not to, I would love you and even when I was terrible to you, you showed me kindness and love. Thank you. I know God brought us together and I have learned some things from you. I have no doubt that you are his mother.” That was the last time we saw Natalie. I hope one day to hug her and thank her for trusting me with her beautiful son. No matter how it went, I love her with all of my heart.
Today on Mother’s Day, I want to say thank you for trusting me. Thank you for allowing me the gift of motherhood. Thank you for being such amazing,beautiful souls who so selflessly made my life complete. I not only got to be a mother, but I gained 3 other family members, friends and sisters. I admire your courage and strength. You have each been such a blessing in my life. Because of you, I have the hugs , the love notes, the laughter through the house. The I love you mom’s. The words, You’re the best mom ever. The popcorn necklaces and handprint pictures. The late night talks about everything and anything.
It brings tears to my eyes everytime one of them says that they are glad you chose me to be their mother. So thank you. Thank you for allowing me the honor of raising these amazing beautiful children and having the joy of celebrating being a mother. You have given me the most treasured gifts there are.
I love each of you from the depths of my heart and hope that someday, we can all be in one space together celebrating life, our children and family.
Happy Mother’s Day. 💜
More love. Less hate. H