The fight for life.

Where to start?

I think I will tell you a little about myself yo give you some understanding of things I may say in the future.

At the age of 17 in 1987,  I went out into this world on my own. Since then, I have fought for myself and my family and never looked back. I have some things I would like to share. A friend recently asked me what I would change in my past. My answer. Nothing. She was taken back by that statrment and so I shall tell you why.

I met my first Husband at 16. I thought he was the one who would forever hold my heart from the moment we met. He was very jealous and abusive. I thought like so many young girls that once we got married things would get better. However, they got worse. At 17, I was told that I would never have a child of my own. Inside I kept thinking if we just had a family the abuse would stop. I got pregnant again with twins. Lost them both about 6 weeks apart.The stress of it all made the abuse and drinking even worse.Once again. I was in dreamland.

After getting married in 1989, I was the soul supporter of the 2 of us for much of our young lives. Thanks to his mother, we had a place to live. After about a year of living like that, I decided I wanted my own place. I felt I had been patient long enough. I found a house I wanted, made a down payment and threw out the ultimatum. Either get a job and move with me or see you-bye -divorce. I didn’t really care. 

He did get a job but it didn’t last as usual. Before I knew it, I was working 2 jobs to keep things going. I was also an alcoholic. I was tired all the time and I drank so I didn’t have to feel anything. The abuse continued and in fact, had gotten worse..

Christmas of 1989, was the deal breaker. I was held down and choked  by a choker chain for a dog and a cigarette taken to my face. I was terrified and it took me a couple of weeks but I found some where to go and ran away while he was gone one day.

In late 1991, I finally decided to try trusting again and dating. By this time, I was a highly functioning alcoholic and worked 3 jobs to avoid life.After meeting Mr. X, I cut down to 1 job and started to find life again. While with this person, I got pregnant. We decided to try moving in together as a family. Neither of us felt this child should have only 1 parent. At the time, I had no idea who he was  but that’s a whole different story.

One morning when I was in one of my playful sarcastic moods, I rubbed him wrong. I vaguely remember a gun to my head and being repeatedly kicked and beaten. I was dumped in a vacant apartment and left to die. For some reason , somehow, someone found me. The only thing I remember about the apartment was I knew the hospital was across the street and couldn’t get there.

I was all but dead when they took me into the hospital. I was 5 1/2 months along and of course lost my son. I was also unidentifiable. My parents had to find my ex husband for legal documents of proof of who I was. My room was guarded. Somehow though, this mans attorneys got in and tried to buy me off. I just wanted it all to go away. I remember like it was yesterday…..looking in the mirror and not recognizing who I saw. It was terrifying.

That’s all I can handle right now. I will continue tomorrow. Have an awesome day!

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6 thoughts on “The fight for life.”

    1. Hi Hailee! I sure do miss you! Thank you for liking my writings, it made me feel good! Hailee you’re writings are so awesome! I need to take a full day and read Hailee’s “Daily Dose” You are so much of an inspiration to me. And when I finish my book “Crumbled” and it actually get’s published, which I hope it does. I would love to add your name to my book as a Thank you! However I do need your permission. Anyway “I love you” and I miss you. Their’s so much more I want to say to you. For now I’ll say thank you, for all everything! I am happy I got to meet you in person! Friends always Don Campbell. ❤ LOVE ❤ comes and then slips away. Casper3750

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      1. I would be honored to be a part of it. 🙂 I’m excited to and hope you get it published. I’m working on my own book. I don’t know if I will ever finish but I hope to. Hope you are having a great day! Glad to have you in my circle of friends. There’s a positive to every negative isn’t there? 🙂 What are the chances of us ever meeting without being in the hospital? 🙂

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      2. Great! I will mention you in my book! It would be great, to read your book, you have a lot to write. Yeah I’m doing okay, just a lot of anxiety this anxiety really get’s me down. I do believe there’s a positive to every negative. As far as us meeting, that would be really good, I just wish I had a car. Do you have my phone number? 801-709-3958 if you want to call, please do, I would be happy to hear from you!

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